My Bucket list
The recent IPO of Facebook inspired me to create a Bucket List, here’s why:
Have I ever mentioned I hate Mark Zuckerberg? In celebration of this douchebag’s great accomplishment of fucking over his friends, invading the privacy of the world illegally, yet TOTALLY getting away with just a slap on the hands, not to mention all of the other horse-shit this crook has done over the years, I have been inspired to share with you guys what will now be known as “Stroke #6” or, my bucket list.
This is an ever growing/shrinking list of shit I want to experience before I die.
- I want to see the day Facebook files for Bankruptcy, and Mark Zuckerberg is tossed around in the media in a similar fashion as Bernie Madoff.
- Since I’m an equally as big fan, I want to be around to witness the bankruptcy filing of Apple… we were already SO close!
- While I’m already on shitty corporations, let’s toss good ol’ DELL right into the mix too. How a company gets away with making such shitty, over-priced computers for so long would normally be called “criminal” but I’m a realist… so I’m just going to dub it “Apple-eqsue” because apparently the American public and the American government are just fucking THAT stupid!
- Barbara Streisand… dead. She’s probably the most annoying fucking person on the face of the planet! I don’t want it to be something violent though… I want to watch her die at the age of like 370 of natural causes.
- Bang a Midget. I’ve come VERY close… but it hasn’t officially happened yet. I’m not even fond of midgets, but it’s something cool to speak of. Shit, Tucker Max did it and I’ve been wanting to accomplish it since anyone knew who the hell he was. (BTW mad respect Tucker).
- The Price Is Right goes off air permanently.
- Prince committed to a psycho ward for a MINIMUM of 90 days.
- Marijuana legalized (again, I don’t smoke it… I just think America is fucking stupid for not making OBVIOUS money).
- Rocky Part 10. I just want to see Sylvester Stallone trying to box at the age of 90. HILARIOUS!
- Justin Bieber denouncing his own career, expressing that he was nothing more than a cancer to the youth of America back in his day. Him having a daughter who’s a porn star who specializes in gang bangs would also make my life complete.
- Vintage video game arcades make a comeback
- Metallica back on alcohol and/or drugs
- KISS playing “Rock N Roll All Nite” to their fellow wheel-chair bound nursing home residents.
- Real Life Terminators (we’re closer than you think).
- Nessie caught
- A female President of the United States.
- Hover Vehicles (REAL ones, hovercrafts don’t count)
- Twitter IPO (you’d be a dumbass not to purchase shares in that company!)
- “What’s an iPod?”
- Robot participants in professional sports… especially Hockey, MMA, Football.
- The official death of monster trucks
- Everything I’ve listed over on my “When I’m President” page.
- Steel Panther getting a #1 on the Billboard chart
- Dogs walking humans (hell we’re getting fat enough)
- Replacement for a good night’s sleep in a pill form
- Instant grow fruits & vegetables
- The demise of organized religion
- The Apocalypse or 2nd coming or end of the world… whatever the hell you want to call it. Regardless, I want to be there to witness it!
- A Gun’s N Roses reunion with the original lineup. I probably wouldn’t go to a concert, would just like to know it managed to happen.
- Copyright & Patent laws re-written to represent modern times and technologies instead of 1920’s bullshit.
- Charlie Sheen runs for President… against me, and loses. Now THAT would be the true definition of Winning!
- The church of Howard Stern
- The Simpsons FINALLY get taken off the air. (it’s only been on like 92387493287423874923874923847 years already, PLEASE make it go away!)
- The Cosby Show… the movie
- Twitter purchases Favstar just to shut it the fuck down.
That’s all I can think of at this very moment, but obviously there will be more, so keep checking back!