Sneakily's Realm

Sneakily Facts

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Believe it or not, here’s a bunch of random facts about me. Some are funny, some are probably disturbing, regardless… it’s all true. Sometimes there might be a good story mixed in with the fact that may be missing, other times the fact might be cooler than the actual story. Regardless, it’s just a bunch of facts so you stalkers can get to know me a little better. If you’d like me to elaborate on something, leave a comment and I’ll try to create a post for it at a later date. So here goes:

  • Favorite food is Lasagna with Sushi being a close second
  • Design websites and logos. This includes a number of band logos and cd art back in the day for a bunch of smaller bands that never made it.
  • Obsessed with my Android devices. I’ve rooted all of them (and some for friends), and I’m constantly trying out new apps and trying to push the limits of what the device can do. I honestly believe that we’re just beginning to scratch the surface of what these devices can do, and I look forward to all of the bad ass things they will be able to do in the future.
  • Hate TV. I’ll watch a handful of shows on my computer (you don’t want to know how), or a football game on the weekend… but other than that, I think TV is an abortion that stifles creativity.
  • Don’t have any kids
  • Never been married
  • Once ran a website that offered “Free Stocks” of various companies trying to get off the ground. It turned out to be a huge waste of my time, and I accidentally managed to spam over 10k of my users that were part of the newsletter accidentally. It was more of a life lesson than something productive.
  • Don’t vote. I don’t want to vote. I’m passionate about why I don’t vote, and nothing you can say is going to change my perspective on the pathetic excuse that is the American “election” system.
  • I inadvertently “discovered” the band Creed. It’s a long story, no it didn’t make me any money… they still vouch for it to this day. You may hate their music, but I saw talent in that band the very first gig they ever played and I’m proud to say so.
  • Used to scout for major record labels… again, I didn’t make any money to show for it.
  • Was a Boy Scout growing up… I hated it.
  • My family is Mormon, I was raised Mormon… I’m NOT Mormon. They are good people and should not be judged by my actions. I’ve made my own decisions on life and I accept who I am now, they just kind of put up with it.
  • Used to work security. My first gig was at Coyote Ugly Nashville. I also worked security at McFadden’s and B.B. King‘s in Nashville.
  • Managed 2 different CD stores owned by the same person. Loathed the job, but the money was decent and I was around music all day.
  • Managed a Q-zar laser tag facility. To date this was the best job I ever had! I loved the Q-zar laser tag game itself and played every opportunity I had. I would do it over again in a second!
  • Once completely destroyed a bar with the owner of said bar… legally.
  • Was offered a job by the management team of the band Disturbed
  • Got Guy Fieri wasted in the bar where I was employed. We had a blast!
  • Befriended many celebrities including Rock Stars, Actors, Actresses, Models, Wrestlers, Musicians, TV Personalities, Etc. It’s amazing who you meet and hang with when you’re just being you and they approach the fun, instead of acting like some obsessed moron who’s all up in their grill about what they do.
  • Never been arrested
  • Raised in a middle class family that lost it all and became dirt poor.
  • Started playing drums as soon as I could hold two wooden spoons and start to beat on something (my mom’s hope chest)
  • Was a basketball protege until I broke my left arm at the age of 14.
  • Very competitive but I have no problem losing… that’s how you learn to do better the next time.
  • Music Theory genius… but can’t really apply much of it to an instrument since I’m self taught. Honestly, I don’t understand it either… but it’s all easy as shit for me on paper.
  • My Uncle was in the Casablanca Records  (Kiss, Donna Summer, Village People, Cher) band “Mantra” which was a prodigy band of Larry Blackmon the singer of Cameo. They had a self-titled album released in 1981 and it didn’t do all that great at the time, but is still a fantastic record.
  • Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” Album was released on my birthday in 1982. Ironically my birthday is also “World Aids Day.” Yeah thanks for that… assholes.
  • Won a city-wide coloring contest when I was in Kindergarten that was held for kids between the ages 5-12. I haven’t accomplished much of shit since worth mentioning.
  • Early childhood memories are from Joplin, MO. Where I resided until I was 6. All of the places where those memories took place, with the exception of the mall, are just memories now due to the EF5 tornado that sadly destroyed the majority of the city in 2011.
  • In 2002 a show I promoted broke the record previously held by Creed from 1996-2002 for largest local artist showcase at Floyd’s Music Store in Tallahassee, FL (R.I.P. Floyd’s)
  • Regularly invited to be a judge for the Hooter’s Battle Of The Bands in Tallahassee, FL. My final judging was of a little band called Mayday Parade (who won that battle). A side insert to this story: I mastered an EP for a band called “Defining Moment” that was comprised of Derek and Brooks of Mayday Parade before the band split to create Mayday Parade.
  • Worked a short stint in The Tracking Room, Nashville, TN.
  • Back in 1995 (before the modern internet) I got engaged to a chick I met on the internet before ever meeting her in person. I was 20. Obviously it didn’t work out. We’re still friends and keep in touch. She’s an awesome person.
  • Love to cook when it’s not for a crap-ton of people.
  • Never been further west than Denton County Texas. A travesty!
  • Enjoy walking through the rain during tropical storms
  • Went streaking through the rain on Easter Sunday 2003 or 2004. I’m not sure which one it was, but I have a witness who laughed the entire time.
  • Burned holes in my fingers when I was 15 or 16 jumping from a cliff to a tree… then sliding down a vine to get to the ground. I was too nervous to figure out that I should go down the vine hand over hand… and just wanted to get to the ground.
  • Couldn’t swim until I was 14, had to learn how on my own.
  • Managed a couple of bands from 2002-2006 and also produced/engineered a few albums. I also mastered a bunch of albums for bands/artists in the (at the time) thriving Tallahassee, FL music scene, and was a consultant for many bands at the time. Here’s a bit of a list of bands I worked with in one form or fashion: Finding Aquila, Lost Hopes, Corbin, Keroseen, Damon Carroll, The Cold After, The Drake Equation, Defining Moment, Avery, Forever Changed (Signed to Floodgate Records/EastWest), DJ Light, Eric Durrance (Word Up #2 I miss ya dawg!), Big Dismal (Signed to Wind-up), Standstill (Signed to Atlantic), Presence (Curb Records), Soul Found, Preacher’s Kid, Goodbye Love, Eden’s Fill, Four Years Past, New Address (became No Address, signed to Atlantic), Isaiah Moon, Socialburn (Signed to Elektra), Still Naive (Signed to Maverick), Gadwell Lane, The Slow Dance, Jason Mitchell. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head (and past show flyers).
  • Used to run a website for the band Dream Theater, I just recently found an archived copy of it and recreated it here.
  • Was told by a dickhead history teacher in 8th grade that I was a loser and would never amount to anything in life. It used to motivate me to work harder. Once I accomplished everything I ever set out to do, I finally figured out that he was a pathetic, sad little man who was a shitty teacher and probably hated his life. Hopefully he’s dead by now but if not… I hope he’s still the miserable piece of shit he was back then.
  • Once stopped a street fight where a guy tapped out while being choked out by my friend Jeff who was also breaking up the fight. It was HILARIOUS! “You can’t tap out in a street fight!?” -My friend Jeff, who was choking out the dude.
  • Met Carrie Underwood and thought she was just some teenager trying way too hard to look like Carrie Underwood. Oops. She turned out to be a total sweetheart and has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in person… PERIOD!
  • Sat next to Amy Lee of Evanescence at a table backstage and ignored her for about 15-20 minutes while talking to someone else. Finally introduced myself (she was the only person in the room I didn’t know), and found out that she’s one of the most down to earth chicks in the music biz… ever. I felt like a dick for being a dick to her at first.
  • Broken up more fights in bars where I wasn’t employed than bars where I was employed. Including a fight between an NFL football player (who will remain nameless) and two security guards from a strip club; and one between two professional wrestlers of different factions (that one hurt).
  • Once had a professional wrestler break a broom handle over my head. Apparently I dared him to and he did… he was highly impressed. I don’t remember it at all, but I’ve heard stories from the 10+ people in the room.
  • Created a shot that most rock stars I’ve done it with still fear. For those who have never hung out with me, it’s called a Whiskey Whippet ™ Here’s the process:
  1. Take Shot of Jack Daniels and swish it around in your mouth like mouth wash for about 15-20 seconds.
  2. While still holding the shot in your mouth, inhale through your nose taking a deep breath.
  3. Swallow shot of whiskey.
  4. Exhale through your mouth.
  5. You’re Welcome!


  • Had my leg raped by a female roommate. Apparently I was fast asleep and she humped my leg to orgasm… then told another roommate who in turn, told me. I still feel violated (she wasn’t hot).
  • Almost died from Ecstasy use… at my own party. I haven’t even thought about touching the drug (or any other drug) since. It’s all fun and games until your body gets overheated. I’m VERY lucky to be alive to bitch about life… people don’t live to tell about the experience I went through. Do whatever you want… but be smart, and be safe about it.
  • First gig in the music industry was sound engineer for a Salsa band (Front OF House, AND monitors). Talk about a shit gig! I learned a lot about separating instruments in the mix though and using equalization to keep noise from becoming an issue. All-in-all it was a great learning experience and it helped me out huge in studio settings, and live sound engineering later on in life.
  • Had one of my sound engineering idols Greg Archilla tell me that I have an amazing gift with my ears, and that I run some of the best live sound he’s ever heard in a venue. Talk about stoked!
  • Great friend and mentor Dan Mitchell (the one who lured me to Nashville in the first place, along with my boy Billy Davis of The D.C. Villains), as well as Lizzy Hale of Halestorm have praised a song I’ve written called “How It All Began.” Dan saying “That’s a great song… it’s not a hit, but it’s a VERY good song!” and Lizzy calling it “Awesome.”
  • Speaking of The D.C. Villains, I’ve done EXTENSIVE (and sometimes exhausting) musical work with the lead singer Damon Carroll including tons of engineering, production, and co-writing; including a song I co-wrote on their album “Divided We Stand” called “She Talks About It.” I also had the pleasure of previously working with him on the songs September, 50 Girls 50 states, Lights out, and Shoulder back when they were just ideas or demos years before this album was recorded and released. Those guys are family to me so PLEASE go check them out and purchase the album!
  • Made my 10-speed bicycle clock in at over 60mph. Broke the speedometer and damn near killed myself. I think I was like 11 or 12 at the time. Again, there’s witnesses, and yes… my 10-speed had a speedometer.
  • Got busted stealing a mini bic lighter out of a construction workers truck. I was a little clepto around age 12-13 and was on my paper route. I used to steal lighters and stuff out of cars with the windows rolled down and then light random shit on fire in the middle of the street. Yep, believe it or not. So one day this dude catches me stealing the lighter and scared me so much that I haven’t stolen shit since and I’m one of the most brutally honest people you’ll ever meet now. Thanks to that construction worker for threatening to kick my little punk ass… you probably saved me from ending up in jail!
  • Obsessed with violent storms… especially tornadoes. I have been for as long as I can remember. During tornado season I like to do what I call “Armchair Storm Chasing” and if you know me… I’m VERY annoying about it.
  • Booked the shooting for the video “Keep On Lovin’ You” by Steel Magnolia. All of the indoor scenes were shot at BuckWild Saloon in downtown Nashville, TN. At the time, I was managing it (along with my good friend Danny) and living in the penthouse above it (and the office while the penthouse was under construction… oy). Most of the people in the video are friends of the group or staff who worked at the bar at the time. The shots of Meghan in her bed were shot in the penthouse, and the outdoor scenes are 2nd Ave. I was invited to be in the video, but was running on 2 hours of sleep and was VERY hungover that day so I opted out… otherwise I would have been in the scene where Josh and his boys (his actual friends) are walking down the sidewalk heading towards the bar. Meghan used to be one of the Karaoke hosts at BuckWild (when I was a bar-back there, before I became manager), and was dating Josh at the time… so we were all close friends. I also had the pleasure (except for that one night with the piano fiasco… sorry about that) to run sound for them during a couple gigs right around the time that they were doing “Can You Duet.” They are both amazing, fun, and kind people. I don’t stay in touch with them these days, but I still consider them family and it’s always fun to see them doing what they do.

I’ll add some more facts as I can think of them. There’s so many fun things that I’ve accomplished in my life that my brain filters out a lot of them until some random conversation sparks a distant memory. So until then… here’s me. -Sneaks


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