Sneakily's Realm

Things I learned in Chicago



Chicago

Things I learned in Chicago

This past month I spent a week in Chicago with my lovely long-term temporary soul-mate, and here’s some things I learned

  • Restraining orders don’t mean shit when you’re out of the jurisdiction area.
  • Whodini panties. (You’ll have to ask her)
  • Having a laptop = sweet. Having the power cord for said laptop – Priceless!
  • Hang on to the “Oh Shit” handle when both of you are taking a shower. It’s there for a reason people!
  • Complimentary drinks sounds cool… but bottom shelf, I dunno about that.
  • Embassy Suites hires ninjas for housekeeping. My jaw is still on the ground after watching them in action
  • Tethered 3G hotspot for free… awesome. Tethered 4G hotspot for free… You fucking wish! Hotel WIFI it is then
  • Google it… the locals don’t know where shit is any better than I did
  • It’s colder in hell than it is inside any given building in Chicago.
  • Buy the popcorn… they are absolutely right!
  • The more noise you make in the hotel room from “doing things” the quieter your neighbors will be
  • Waiting 1 1/2 hours just to take a 13 second elevator ride, pay money, and stand over top of the city… stupid
  • IF your bartender speaks English, consider yourself lucky and strike up a conversation. Otherwise… drank
  • Always bring AA batteries along with your AAA batteries, or you’ll get robbed
  • It’s possible to turn a white napkin into a racist joke
  • Asian Fusion = AMAZING but you should NEVER consider hiring an Asian Fusion interior decorator
  • That awesome Italian joint has probably seen more dead bodies than nazi germany
  • It’s cheaper to have a private helicopter fly you all over town than it is to cab it
  • Just because the sushi is good doesn’t mean you should order the Chilean Sea Bass
  • Marilyn Monroe’s vagina looks strangely the same as Barbie’s
  • Just because a Sushi joint has a 4 star rating doesn’t mean you should eat there (1 4 star rating btw… Way2B)

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