Sneakily's Realm

What chaps my ass



Kyle

What Chaps My Ass

This will be an ever growing/shrinking list of what chaps my ass, so chances are good that things will randomly appear and disappear. Feel free to partake in conversation via comments.

  • People who can’t drive worth a shit talking/texting while on their phone. Fucking DRIVE!
  • Asshole drivers who pull into a cross-walk at a red light. One of these days I swear to god I’m going to walk right over the top of some douchebag’s car!
  • Jersey Shore (Need I say any more)
  • Nickelback (ditto)
  • A government that can tell people what to do, but won’t listen when the people tell THEM what to do. Democracy my ass.
  • Rich people who piss away money on stupid useless shit just because they can. Go fucking help someone instead.
  • Musicians who smash instruments on stage. Yes, this includes some of my favorite bands… give that shit to a kid in the audience and inspire them to learn instead.
  • Shitty teachers.
  • Authority figures who abuse their power (a vast majority)
  • Meatloaf (The singer/bad actor)
  • Pop Music
  • Most country music
  • People who smell bad
  • Arrogance that isn’t my own
  • People who are easily offended
  • Organized religion
  • Minecraft
  • MMORPG’s and the losers who waste away their lives, jobs, marriages, children in order to participate full time in them
  • People who frown upon pornography and masturbation
  • “Hardcore” gamers. How about you “Hardcore” go learn how to do something useful you fuck… like get laid!
  • The lack of Arcades in America (and probably other countries). Kids these days are completely missing out on something that was so awesome.
  • Guns. Real men kill with their bare hands
  • People who use the express aisle and have the exact maximum number of items or more.
  • Drive-Thru’s at every fast food joint… but no service if you walk up to the window.
  • Checked baggage fees on airlines.
  • Smoking
  • Shitty wait staff and/or management at nice restaurants.
  • Over-priced drinks and/or cover charges just because a venue can.
  • “Those” people at rock shows. You know who you are.
  • Racists
  • Homophobes
  • Rednecks
  • stupidity
  • ignorance (yes, it’s separate from stupidity)
  • Section 8
  • Standardized tests
  • People who breed more people with less common sense
  • Collectables
  • Pawn Shops
  • Facebook
  • Lima Beans
  • That REALLY fucking annoying chick on SNL. You never know her name, but there’s ALWAYS that chick.
  • Vanity
  • Lack of self confidence
  • People who say “I can’t” all the time
  • Banks/Credit Unions. What a bunch of fucking crooks!
  • Anything and EVERYTHING to do with the Twilight series and the people who obsess over it
  • Harry Potter (see previous)
  • People who judge a book, movie, game, or music based upon it’s rating instead of it’s content
  • Terrible and/or lazy cooking. There’s just NO excuse for making shitty food in this day and age people
  • Informers
  • Experts on EVERYTHING
  • Habitual Self loathers. Yes, your life DOES suck… now shut the fuck up or go kill yourself. Regardless, the rest of us are sick of hearing about it.
  • Chicks who use PMS and an excuse for showing off their REAL selves
  • Whining
  • The constant victim
  • Slobs
  • People who think everything they’ve ever tried once in their life is “The Best”
  • The Associated Press
  • Republicans
  • Conservatives
  • Democrats
  • Liberals
  • Bums
  • Mall Security. I mean… what do they do… REALLY?!
  • Record Labels (all 3 of them left)
  • Apple (not the fruit)
  • Commercials/Advertising unless it’s the rare funny one.
  • Daytime talk shows
  • People who like animals better than humans. Seriously… go fuck a sheep or something.
  • PETA (since we’re on the subject already)
  • Vegetarians/Vegans who act like they are a species above us carnivores. No worries though, if the world ended and there was only one option for survival… while you’re eating grass and leaves, I’ll be plotting a way to kill and eat you .
  • Virgins
  • Con artists
  • compulsive liars
  • People who enjoy a ton of light and/or sunlight in a room
  • Crowded Movie theaters and the assholes who patronize them.
  • Being the victim of someone else’s bad karma
  • Thieves
  • People who call but won’t leave a voice mail
  • People who call more than once when you don’t answer the first time
  • Cold weather
  • People who don’t tip or leave shitty tips. Hospitality industry people are some of the hardest working people in the world, and if you stiff them… you’re a fucking DICK!
  • Captchas. I swear to god half of those things are in some kind of alien text!
  • Boiled Peanuts. Why waste a good peanut?
  • People who take a shit and don’t use a match and/or air freshener. Nasty yo!
  • To be continued…

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